Thoughts on Relationships

Seek out a partner who mirrors the same values as your own.

For e.g, if you're anti-racist, don't date somebody who is racist.

You would be constantly arguing, debating and fighting, because your views, opinions and ideas are totally opposite to one another.

Negative and positive do not work together.

Do not settle down with somebody you don't have any chemistry with, who doesn't respect you, who makes you feel worthless, who plays mind games, who dictates your every move, who never lets you be alone to think or do your own thing....

Do you really want that?

Accepting somebody for who they're is only beneficial when your own values, sanity, self worth and rights are not being attacked.

Everybody has flaws, that is true. But, you must know what you're willing to put up with and what you're not. It is for your own sake and theirs.

Do not seek out a partner if you yourself are not prepared to uphold your end of the bargain either.

What do they say? It takes TWO to TANGO.

Don't be the man or woman that only puts in 20 percent, while your partner is putting in 100 percent.

There is no harmony in that.

Only disharmony. There is No balance.

There must be balance.

Disharmony is unhealthy and chaotic.

Disharmony will only lead to a short relationship.

Even if you're still together 10 years into the future, the relationship would no longer be there (unless you both developed a true bond). It would have died long ago. Comfort would have set in, through being content, fearing change and well... good old humam stubbornness.

Did you know that is how a lot of modern day marriages function?

And, it is not healthy for relationships to have arguments at all. That is a myth.

The truth is, if you and your partner are communicating with one another, have lots of rapport and are capable of listening to each other without interruptong. You will be able to discuss what you're willing to tolerate and not tolerate with one another, without any arguments ever taking place.

Why we should be grateful

The majority of us are focused on the big things in life. 

Getting that big promotion, making those big bucks, driving around in big cars, going on big holidays. 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with dreaming big or living big. 

It is only natural to crave bigger things, bigger experiences and dream bigger dreams. That is because our lives are so short, we cannot afford to miss out on them. 

I understand, I really do.

However, I think it is also quite important that we do not neglect the small things in life. It is those smaller moments that make the bigger moments worth having in the first place.

Gratitude really does go a long way you know?

I believe we should be grateful for the here and now, and for all of the things we already have.

We may not be the richest people on the planet or own the biggest house but at least we have a home, a fridge full of food, money in the bank, clothes on our backs. It might not be much, but it is still something we should be grateful of.

Did you only get given a card for your birthday?

Be appreciative of the fact somebody actually thought enough of you to give you something.

Do you wish you had more friends?

Be grateful for the friends you already have. You might not have many friends. But, at least you have friends, right? 

Those are the small things I am referring to.

My Challenge to you!

Grab a pen and a piece of paper, and write down a list of things you're grateful for. 

It can be as short as you like, or as long as you like.

It could be your family/friends, your job, the fact you have a roof over your head. 

It doesn't matter what it is.

Then write down a list of things you're not grateful of, after you're done, rip it up and throw it in the bin.

For e.g, a colleague or boss you dislike at work, unable to afford that new smartphone, recently your crush rejected you etc...  

From today, you're not going to focus on those things anymore, you're going to focus on being more grateful. You're going to focus on the positives in life.

If you start to focus more on the positives things in life, you will be a much happier person in general. 

My Journey to Self Love

           Why the only way for me to live was to conquer myself.

                                           

I will tell you a little story about myself.

Don't worry, I will attempt to make it as short and sweet as I possibly can.

I used to be really self-conscious about everything. I was worried about what other people thought of me during social situations, my appearance, my height, my speech (I often find it difficult to articulate myself) and a myriad of other self-doubts plagued my mind. It wasn't until I realized one day I was never going to get anywhere if I remained in that state of mind. I recognized it was me who was the problem. I blamed my Asperger's and my ADHD for so long but really, it was me. 

I needed to face myself, which was my biggest fear. Nobody enjoys looking within and seeing all of their flaws hanging right in front of them. But, it had to be done. It was the only way I would ever be able to experience my true potential as a human being. 

What did I do?

I immediately felt the urge to sit down on the floor, put myself in the half lotus position, closed my eyes and began drawing a few deep breaths. I focused on my breathing until I was no longer paying attention to it. I was now in a deep state of meditation, my mind was focused within. 

What I saw inside shook me to the core. I recognized many things about myself I had previously buried deep down inside. I hoped they would disappear. Those hidden aspects of myself made me feel extremely uncomfortable, frightened and ashamed. I imagine the Buddha would have experienced a similar feeling while sat under the Bodhi tree. I felt as if my own mind was challenging me, it was testing my willpower. 

Would I leave and wussy out? or would I stay and see the entire process through its end? What do you think I did? I stayed of course. I stuck with it.

What did looking inside teach me?

Conquering myself brought me to the realization I needed to accept myself and embrace my imperfections. It was challenging, uncomfortable, even scary at times but it was worth it. As, I feel I am now a much happier and confident person. And, the truth is; Sometimes we have to go through a dark period in our lives so we can eventually see the light.

Remember, even though it might feel like it, you're never truly alone in this world. The truth is, there is always somebody out there dealing with a similar issue. There is also always somebody out there who has been through the darkness but overcame it and is now bathing in light.

        "Limiting beliefs are only limited if we make them limited" - Myself

Technology: Have you consumed me yet?

Does the thought of not having your smart device on hand for more than a minute cause you to feel empty, depressed or incomplete?

Do you constantly check your phone every time you receive a text, notification or message?

While hanging out with your friends; do you check your phone every couple of seconds?

You're addicted, pure and simple.

Addiction is not only limited to drugs, gambling and alcohol.

In fact, it is possible to become addicted to anything.

Do you know what all of those things have in common with smartphones, tablets and PC's? Dopamine.

The chemical releases into our brains and makes us feel good.

The more you engage in an activity that makes you feel good, the higher the chance you have of becoming addicted to the activity.

Have you considered putting your phone on silent, placing it down and allowing your mind to wander about reality? Inspirational moments are more likely to arise if you do that.

You will feel better, your personal relationships will be more authentic and fulfilling because you actually took the time to fully engage with 'real people', and you will be able to fully appreciate those precious moments in life often missed by being constantly engaged in a virtual world.